Let’s face it, we’ve all come to a point where we had to part ways with something that was once held precious to us; be it a relationship, job or any other loss that has made you want to move on, or forced you to move on at some point. That physical torment that we go through, the heart wrenching feeling of parting ways is something that has affected us through our emotional state of mind. If we cannot treat this pain and cure it from within, we are staring at depression dead centre in the eye. Just like any other human, I too have made quite a lot of mistakes, but through them all I sought to improve myself and through each mistake I made, I realized that it made me stronger. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
But there’s a perk in committing so many mistakes, it’s that you realize and figure out ways to move on sooner and more effectively and come out on the other end as a better person without humiliating yourself! It’s highly important that you do not humiliate yourself, you’ll realize why I said that in a while.
Here are five ways to move on:
Let it go:
I know this one is kind of a no brainer, but hear me out on what exactly you need to do. If you want to move on from your relationship and you’ve broken up, then I am pretty sure things didn’t work out when you tried and right now it’s ended. Make sure it ended by deleting the person’s number (lets face it, if you had their number, you’d be tempted to text them or call them up). If you have their number up there in your head, you can alternatively get rid of the things that remind of them or the thing that you want to move on from. Now make sure it’s you who’s getting rid of the stuff or deleting their number and do not assign another person to do it for you. The act of you doing it by yourself is a physical sign pushing through to your mind a signal that you have to move on.
Keep yourself busy:
This one too doesn’t come as a surprise, but this is an essential step in helping you move on. Through this step you must follow what you have set forth like the army does to its drills. And the reason behind it is pretty simple, an ‘idol mind is a devils workshop’. The more you have the time to sit and think about what’s gone, the more it’s going to affect you. Now this is not to say that you should burn yourself with work or keep at something until you finally get exhausted and end up depressed either way. It’s crucial to find that balance. Take your time in letting go of what has gone, let it register in your sub-conscience that things have gone, once you can get to terms with that, form a neat little time-table to do the things you always do. It’s tempting to slip into pyjamas and to stay in bed. But force yourself not to. You’re better than that. To help you in staying motivated make sure you reward yourself for keeping up with the timetable. A small reward. The reward will make you want to stick on to the time table you have set for yourself. The satisfaction of accomplishing something is a mental boost and stimulates good vibes in you.
Don’t loose your self respect:
It’s absolutely essential that you keep this in mind at all times when trying to move on. Whatever made you take the decision is also going to be the one that helps you get over it and move on from whatever it is you want to move on from. This ensures that you maintain your integrity.
Do not drunk text or call anyone.
It’s not going to make things fine, this isn’t the silver screen, it’s life. Having surreal expectations can only make you feel all the more bad about your current situation. Take into account all the negatives that you’ve faced and make a physical list of why you do not wish to go back to whatever it is you’re moving on from. Be generous in this list. Just as a tip, the more you list the cons, the more you would not want to go back. A very integral part of moving on is to retain your self respect and personal integrity, trust me, you’ll feel really well by doing this.
Try something new:
This has to be one of the best ways to effectively get over something and at the same time learn something new, that’s a win-win situation to me! Go ahead and pick up that very old hobby you once shelved. Pick up an instrument. Be creative. The creative satisfaction of artistically creating something has a feeling that at least once every human should feel. It’s an amazing feeling. Go ahead and cancel your Netflix subscription while you’re at it. Do not get distracted and the most important point here is do not expect immediate results, wait for it. Just know that you’ll have a learned a new thing before you realize it. And when you start seeing results, you’ll know you’ve moved on.
I usually follow this in my character traits as well. I analyze what went wrong and try to see if I set things straight by bringing that change in myself. For this, you’ll have believe in it. Also, you should realize that this change is the result of what is making you move on, and that you shouldn’t expect things to go back the way they were just because you’ve changed, this only creates more expectations and you go back to the first step and before you know it you’re stuck in a loop of eternal moving on.
You can alternatively choose to do something entirely new. I figured, if I volunteered in a non-profit for a while it helped me to keep myself busy and feel good about it at the same time. People have different ways of trying something new, you’re the best judge of that, and I leave it to you.
Ah our good old hope. This is the base of all our adventures innit? What’s life without hoping you’d end up a successful person at the end of it. This is very important when you’re trying to move on. Do not loose hope. You might have had a very bad breakup and might not feel that you’ll ever find the ‘one’! The one is not found, it just feels like the one because your efforts don’t seem to feel like an effort. And that’s just it. Hope to find someone like that, and trust me no matter what there’s always someone for you. Your job might not have lasted as long as you expected, but it sure would have thought you something.
It’s actually an art in seeing the silver lining in our mistakes and misfortunes without being delusional.Hope plays an essential part in this and it motivates you to keep trying. I can give a hundred overused examples, right from Henry Ford, Thomas Alva Edison, Steve Jobs, and a myriad of other people who did not loose hope and stayed their course despite all odds. If they did not hope to succeed in life, they would have just stopped.
In essence all of this is a moot point, if you do not make up your mind and get out there with a new set of dreams and hopes to conquer the world and what next lies in your journey. Life is full of adventures and embrace each one to it’s fullest.
I hope these have helped you as much as it has to me in my efforts.
Drop in a comment if you have more ways to move on, or whether these five worked for you.