When commonalities bog you down…

It’s not uncommon to be secluded from the world and to hesitate the wealth of care, and for whatever reason the entire concept behind “love”. Profound by the discovery of such people I found myself in between a trio that didn’t seem to have the traits of lasting long enough to be able to realize that in the end we all did love each other but in our different ways. As long as it’s established that I have a significant role in a sudden burst of aggression, I was dumbfound at some of the revelations that I uncovered from this assortment of minds.

I found it hard to believe that of all the people and all the mistakes I had committed and seen, I was pushing myself in between certain aspects of people’s lives that made them extremely uncomfortable and annoying. I knew that from the beginning of this labelled “friendship”, all in the name of some love and care. It was never intended to be that way, I had my dreams, some stayed as they originated and some did eventually come true. But all of them were insignificant in front of those that I thought were my life. There was something deeper between the two than love, there was friendship. I sure wasn’t going to trample it, I knew what it took to earn that amount of respect, not asking anything in return and to be able to withhold a person who would erupt and consider that giving back any gifts monetarily concealed the pain and agony of the hurting words that came out in spite. I would not let that happen.

I’ve had a life of pain and of being stomped over by a lot of people, it has molded me to the man I am today, but at times going back to the that guy is as good as being the same. I would rather stay alone and die that way then be put down in my current state. There’s always a hindrance to our goal when it almost seems to succeed. Praying and visiting temples never heeded to such silly requests to being accepted as a partner. And being in the middle of such a complicated friendship with only love to her in me is just idiotic at times and yet it seems so worth it. I wouldn’t harm them, I wouldn’t harm their friendship and yet I would be able to stay with the one that I so determinedly believed was the answer to my search in this world. The answer to a perpetual question as to my existence in this dotted world midst such dust of people. I would find my true existence lay in the fulfillment of my heart and my heart was won over by this one person that complexity seemed to have joined.

But why her? Why of all people a person who was hindered in some sort of a way, she couldn’t find it in herself to see anyone who showered care on her to be worthwhile of her tears if it didn’t work out. I shiver at her anger, and she cries at benevolence where it seemed interrupted. All this for a friendship, and I haven’t even mentioned love. Now lies the question of being a part of all this complexity, or the very existence of that complexity in its term. Would it suffice me to be a part of a the trio as just a friend and to suppress my concerns of loosing the only answer I could find to all the harm that was put upon me and vice versa? Would it be wise to intrude in the trio and have the satisfaction of being in the life of  a women that I truly saw respectable after my mother? I’d always imagine, although in a filmy way, that I would be back after a day’s work and all the strain of the day would dissipate at the calmness of her face, and the warmth of her hug. It wouldn’t matter if the world was at war, because I had her and she had me. It was the best part of the day for me. Her feelings would radiate and be felt by me in it’s complete sense as when she wavered from happy to the enormous array of emotions that she’d carry on her face with ease. Her mere presence was sufficient to me and it will always be, for it’s her smile that makes my day.

But all that in vain, as she would never realize that reality of such a wonderful feeling that I had. My emotions are black, and have always remained the same. I show no signs of a pleasant being to her. I for one, fade away in the dark and blend into the excruciating light of the midday sun. It’s all but simple to her, and complicated to me from my side, and the opposite to her. It’s a Rubik’s cube with a deliberate dab of mismatched color. There is no solution to this trio, as long as it exists.

I’ve seen the world, lit it up as my stage now,
Channeling angels in the new age now,
Hot summer days, rock ‘n’ roll,
The way you play for me at your show,
And all the ways I got to know,
Your pretty face and electric soul.

Lana Del Ray, Young and Beautiful

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Equality!?!

Note that this article is just a random thought process in my mind that put down, it does not implore into issues and their solutions, it’s just a random article…

India is one of the biggest places of concern for the welfare of women and it’s fundamental dispersion between the thought process involved in bringing up the marked sexually inferior child thought of as woman. A woman has a lot of fear instilled in her from the time she is capable of understanding the differences that occur both bodily and mentally. These things are imparted in her to bring up a traditionally sound and a person who can run the house efficiently as well as please the manhood so cherished by her husband. She is bound to put her head down against any atrocities or the mediocre tease by fellow men, throughout her life believing that men are certainly superior in at least as much as to have a right to rule on themselves and not be dependent elsewhere. Beckoning change is a time when women have had just enough of the tipping scale and are at tyranny over the current situations that rule, if not the bigger cities, then the smaller and more less intellectual cities in India.

I myself am not much interested in relics. But one seemed to grab my attention when it was mentioned in the Gentleman’s code, a TV program on Star World that seems to explore the world of changing mentality of men in this century. An instance when Sita is the hero rather than Ram, he goes on to explain how the male dominant versions of the Ramayana have been popular and female versions where at most times women turn triumphant are suppressed. In such a version, Sita encounters a prince who is rather interested in her body than that of a suggested army coalition, she goes on to say that god created humans in a special way, we have the power of imagination that is non-existent in animals. We have the power to be anywhere we want and be whoever we like. But the demarcation of men and women is in the imagination and imagination alone, for it is the same soul that embodies a man, which is present in a woman as well. Bodily differences don’t make you superior to me. Even though I do not remember the exact words, I can assure you that the gist of what was said is covered here. It’s reassuring when a woman takes a stand as her patience is tested in being discriminated at every field without a proper base to the sentimental values that surround them. It’s vital that this be understood by men that it’s not  a toy to be played with and this brings me to the point I want to convey today. Would it be better if rather than teaching women to stand up for themselves, teach men to act and be a gentleman that they are supposed to be?

As a man, I clearly lack the perspective of the mind of a female. And it’s difficult to be able to comprehend them in the sense that they would want us to. But instead what if we brought in ourselves a change that seemed evident such that women wouldn’t have to bother explaining. It’s just a simple concept that seems to solve a big problem with ease. A little bit of self-discipline and  common sense solves everything. But here’s a prospective problem that seems to find the most vague solution as possible, and it is this that brings about a definite confusion as to the heading that the solution needs to take. Would education from the root suffice the forth coming generation’s growing curiosity? Or would it bring about a separation in them? Would it actually provoke them into anything serious if they work upon their teachings?

The problem is thus, sexual abuse isn’t the only  place where women are suffering, and it is of at most importance that they be treated equally with equal respect in all fields than one. Bearing in mind that they are sensitive in certain aspects. To be able to get that message through is by any means possible, and not by narrowing it down on one section of the community. Like when handicapped are alternatively called as disabled, which will not change their lives, but is a step towards telling them that care is on it’s way, if not immediately, most certainly some time in the near future. I’m not asking to rename the problem at hand. But to look for a solution where it’s obvious. Why can’t men be thought common social code and work towards being a gentleman rather than being jerks towards women. Alternatively children and every part of the society needs to learn the importance of empowering women the same way that men are. It isn’t a solid answer to an age-old problem, it is a step towards equality. Equality for all.

“A woman knows very well that, though a wit sends her his poems, praises her judgment, solicits her criticism, and drinks her tea, this by no means signifies that he respects her opinions, admires her understanding, or will refuse, though the rapier is denied him, to run through the body with his pen.” 
― Virginia WoolfOrlando