As continued from Faith… Part II
I was now part of Yuvaraja’s college, and I was joined by my schoolmate Venkatram. I found myself pushing towards a life I always regretted. Settling down did not seem to be an exciting thing to me back then, but it seemed as though the route ahead was planned. I would finish my college, get a job and hopefully marry the new girl who was in my life after the previous one left a serious dent in my personal life. She seemed to tick all the right spots, she cared for me like a child and she wanted me to bring changes in myself that even I had thought of but was unwilling to put forth. There was a very strong urge to change myself. I tidied myself and changed my wardrobe. Learned proper respect and lots more. To me, she was imbibed in the changes that I took forth upon me. She had now become a part of me. And I still cherish that fact.
The sense of change had a stronger impact on me when my friend approached me for a short film project. I was new to photography back then and this short film seemed to be a bigger burden that I was asked to take upon. His persistence I should say, paid off, and today I am proud to tell you that our forthcoming film is our biggest production yet. Things seem very bright in that prospect. Here’s a chronological list of the films I acted in:
Annoy me (2011):
The Abel Photographer (2013):
Head over to the link below for the list of films or click on the poster to lead you to watch the films.
The more I worked on short films the more I realized one truth, I was never cut out for a normal lifestyle and that echoed in my relationships as well. I was never the typical guy a women would want, my approach and thoughts were entirely different, and sometimes I have come to believe that this is the worst part of me. I am a very opportunistic kind of guy, I tend to think of everything I do in a bigger scale, I don’t settle for small. Even in relationships, pun not intended, I want to be able to have a future, and that’s where problems started to arise in my newly found love life. It had no future, and that resulted in fights and eventually it ended. My last relationship. lasted one year. What made for a surprising turn of events led me to be a changed man, and that man was now facing problems consecutively. My lack of interest in a boring lifestyle led me to not be able to sit in classes regularly and my health wasn’t on my side either, which altogether made me realize that I had fallen back on the minimum attendance requirement. I wasn’t the least bit bothered. There was a strange sense of relief and freedom that came from that bad news. I was relieved of the one thing that bothered me, a college that led me to straight towards a lifestyle I despised!
There was something to this lifestyle that I despised, I wasn’t able to figure out what made me be so. I hadn’t even decided on what type of a life or what kind of a career or study that I would be interested in. There were many things that I had lots of interest on, but those never seemed to be a promising career nor would that make any sense in turning them into a job that paid. By now I had a keen interest in photography and I had developed a certain niche for myself. I knew my style of photography and I tried very hard to refine it year after year. I would keep at it, and photography today, like I say it every time, thought me to be persistent in my efforts. Today those efforts can be seen on http://rselvamphoto.smugmug.com/
If Photography and Short Films thought me persistence then my interest in electronic gadgets led to one very busy schedule of repairs and flashing requests. Currently learning advanced Java and with plans of learning CSS. Plus creating a custom recovery for a Spreadtrum phone (ongoing). I have no shame in calling myself a geek. I love the way I am. If only I knew which lifestyle suited me.
Up next: My plans for my future, and a decision on the lifestyle of my choice….