I write this as if it were my Biography.

 Note: I would like to point out that this article consists of two or more continued posts that are spread over a period of three weeks. Furthermore, I decided to write this so as to provide a clear picture of what my intentions are towards my life, it has been bothering those that care for me and  it would only seem appropriate to be able to convey my thoughts in the best possible way I can; By writing! What would interest you in the articles to come is the continued perseverance and my self judgmental qualities that I describe throughout and somewhere each and everyone of us possess the same. These are the things that you as a human would most definitely have experienced and therefore I wish, it would bring upon you as a reader, the beautiful memories and thoughts as I go on to describe the various feelings I felt and circumstances I faced in an early enlightenment phase of my life!

At this point in my life, when the walls of solitary confinement are the highest, I doubt but a few would know what I am really up  to, and my intentions in continuing this terminal journey. I never realized that I would be sitting in my room jotting down those that I had achieved, because, from when I thought I was someone who would fit the world in, as much as a rock would, of absolutely no cause but to turn to soil someday; to today where the victories I had forced me to put it on record. I do not praise upon my work as that something which coincides with the laureates of our time. But I would definitely consider it no less than what the average man would otherwise be proud of. I still wonder sometimes as to legitimacy of my claims on the use of the resources I have, to the dreams that seemed to so persistently haunt me. I kept beckoning to the almighty that there might have been a dreadful mistake that I was born into a middle class family, where rather I seemed fit to be the son of an aristocrat. But what kept me anchored is the hundreds and thousands that lived a life where happiness was a genuinely rare commodity. I was brought up in a fairly decent way, not flattered with silverware, but welcomed as a rarity. For it was I, who was the eldest son to the succeeding generation of my family. Always given top priority, I never seemed to take it to my advantage. And that profoundly interested my parents in my character. They desired the best for their son and so they sacrificed many a luxury for the betterment of me, in the hopes that I would grow up to be reasonably well established myself.

My schooling was as close to exciting as a cold cucumber on a winter’s morning. Although it did provide for a fundamental knowledge of the world and information on certain subjects that confused me of their explicit usage in life, it however, did not seem to divulge in changing my attitude or character. I was on the margin of obesity and I was found to be the center of entertainment, and perhaps I was the center of the universe itself according to theories concocted by the innocent minds of a time when shorts were our uniforms! I did not provide for an easy job for the teachers of our class, and was more often outside the class rather than inside it. Punishment had a certain tinge of excitement to it, that I grew overly fond of. Soon I found myself in a very serious circumstance, the reasons for which eluded me back then. The passing of the tenth grade. It seemed more of a ceremony than a test of knowledge. Suddenly our human counterparts in the name of relatives found a certain affection towards my activities in school. After judiciously securing an average, I was pat on the back and an advice about how life began from then on was imparted on me by everyone I met. I thought that that must have been a popular monologue, that seemed to be too popular to be forgotten. Repetitive reciting were a vital part of a good memory, and so I was convinced.

At this point I had practically contacted none of those concerned as to how much of an impact a proper pre-university college had on the forthcoming years after. And I turned up to be a part of a college that seemed to have no particular interest in the betterment of it’s students. I’d rather not indulge in the pitfalls of a college that thought me so much in life, not educational knowledge, but life’s most important lesson. And it is that lesson that I wish to cover in this article.

I have always been wanting to cover this topic in the years that I started writing, but I could never put forth a step towards my wish for reasons that seemed too obvious. If I were to have written about it three years ago, furious relatives would have poured upon my parents phone as to the outrageous and preposterous deed I was up to at such a juvenile age. If I were to have written about it two years ago, it would have only spanned about an average paragraphs length that covered nothing more than but a vague choice of sentences. At that time, I wasn’t bothered about this, and to a certain extent preoccupied with the things that went on during the admissions and the entry to a graduate college. But what followed after, was completely unexpected, although not in connection with my college, there ran two threads simultaneously in my life, and both went on to teach things that enlightened me and pushed me towards depression at the same time. Even today, as I stand at a vantage point, being able to look down on what happened is still like staring at a blurred mirage. I am unable to determine what exactly happened due to the lack of good memory.

Up next: What was it that thought me such a life lesson?

To be continued… 

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One thought on “Faith… Part I

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